Happy or Sad???

Tat sad matter already pass almost half more year~i feel tat i can recover between this half year as soon as possible~but on this feel weeks~i had return normal like before~!!! What happen to me~please~who can tell me~maybe is my problem~it's because i really cant forget her thoroughly~I want say Sorry to her and myself also~but i really had try my best to forget that sad thing~really!!! Every night while i sleep~i surely will dream about her~it really not tat i want to be 1~anyone experience can tell me why this happen~like last night~i dream about her until i knock my head to the wall~fuXk!!!DamXX it!!! Suddenly i feel painful after my head knock it~I get know a bad new the day before yesterday~my best buddy tell me she love affair~ suddenly i feel moody and down~oh my god!what happen to me wat~i supposed to feel glad and bless you~but why i feel loss after i knew it~i really hope that have some1 can talk n sharing with me~but.........................NO ONE~i feel that~far~far~and far~what i can do right now~"I hate I infatuation to her, I hate myself"